Heart vs Head

Do you have an idea of your dream home in your head? Maybe you’ve always imagined a games room in the basement or an outdoor summer room; maybe a cosy thatched cottage with a real fire or perhaps somewhere quiet with open views. It can be hard to compromise on a dream; but even harder if you face a choosing between a practical option over an emotional one.

Look to the future

This debate between a logical choice and an emotion one is one I sometimes encounter when a buyer (whether on their own, as a couple, or a family) starts considering a ‘project’. It happens less when they have a clear cut business model in mind, but any type of project can be derailed by the infamous words: “as soon as I saw it I knew”, or “I fell in love with it the moment I stepped inside.” Is that really such a bad thing though? To go with your gut? Well, if years later your ‘dream’ home is still a mess and now you’re also in debt…

That’s an extreme version but we do need to consider if the emotional pull of the quaint cottage that matches up to hte dreams is going to be enough to sustain through the winter months when it’s drafty and a 20 minute drive from the ‘peaceful’ new cottage to the nearest shop. And the flip-side - does our new home’s convenient location make up for the fact the home doesn’t give us the ‘feeling’ or the joy we wanted? 

Memories

We all bring our own lives and memories with us as our personal context when viewing a house. The old gas fire takes us back to Christmas in our childhood home, or fruit trees and a workshop in the garage reminds us of weekend visits to Grandma and Grandad’s. 

Sometimes it might be less about good memories we have, but being influenced by less positive associations. Whether the decor or layout of a house might recall a difficult time. Trying to keep negative associations at bay can be hard, and anything with an emotional connection can be hard to rationalise away. 

All of this can be exacerbated if you’re viewing houses as a couple and one of you is pragmatic and logical whilst the other is emotional and based on ‘vibes’!  Perhaps one of you might be on alert for signs that the other one doesn’t like a property and it affects how oyu view a house. To combat this, you can do a virtual viewing separately first or you can make it part of the process: the ‘vibe’ partner goes first to rule out the ones they don’t like and then the logic partner can go to work!

It is incredibly common on a viewing for someone to talk about the ‘feel’ of a house as soon as they walk in. But is this due to the nice smell of blossom on the spring days as opposed to viewing on a dank morning with the smell of a truck idling nearby? Maybe sure to take into account other factors if it seems your leaning into a 'feeling' rather than common sense before making a bid.

Plan

As I’ve mentioned on other blogs, your friend in this situation is usually ‘preparation’. Take the time to carefully consider what are your non-negotiables and what areas you are prepared to compromise on. It can help you when sometimes that emotional impulse gets strong!

I also believe this is where an outside person to sound off to can help - that might be your estate agent or a trusted friend who can give some objective feedback. Just having distance and time to fully consider everything can help achieve balance between your logical mind and your romantic heart for a home that you love that makes sense for you.